There are people in our world who hold a belief that astounds me. It goes something like this: “If someone is doing a paid service for me, I shouldn’t have to say thank you to that person. They are just doing their job.”
I have heard people say this in real life, and I’ve also seen people share this perspective online.
How I feel about said perspective:
Which reminds me…many years ago, I was newly pregnant with Zoe, there was a heat wave, and the air conditioning went out at the same time. When the repair guy arrived, I practically wanted to fall at his feet and cry tears of gratitude (I hate being hot and sweaty!!). I restrained myself and just said something like, “Oh my gosh, I am SO GLAD you are here. Thank you, thank you!” And I remember he told me most people are just angry at him for not being there sooner.
While in the most technical sense, it is true that you don’t owe anyone a word of thanks (saying “thank you” is not generally written into the contract), I am puzzled why anyone would choose this as a hill to die on.
I mean, saying, “thank you” is literally SO EASY.
I also can’t fathom why anyone would want to live in a world bereft of gratitude. Who doesn’t enjoy a little appreciation?
I am also completely unable to understand the position of not wanting to say thank you to someone else. I feel like it just bubbles up, and I think I’d have to actively work to keep myself from saying thank you.
In addition, expressing thanks brings joy to other people, which in turn brings joy to the person saying “thank you”! Isn’t it fun to see someone’s face light up when you express gratitude? It’s a symbiotic relationship; both parties are blessed by expressed gratefulness.
I was talking about this with a patient last week, and after the conversation, I was noticing how many times my coworkers and I say thank you to each other.
The virtual nurse says thank you to me when I get the patient ready for her to do a discharge, and then I say, “Thanks so much! You’re the best!” when she tells me the patient is ready to go.
I say thank you to the dear people who take the trash out of patient rooms (because OHH do you notice it when that trash sits!).
The PT/OT/CT/X-ray people say thank you to me when I get a patient ready to be seen by them.
I say thank you when a provider answers a question I have about a patient.
I say thank you to the unbelievably detail-oriented specialist who manages the tedium of payroll.
Many patients say thank you for everything I do for them, sometimes even when it’s an injection.
My nurse co-workers and I say thank you to each other when we are willing to go sign off on insulin dispenses (you need two nurses for that and sometimes it’s hard to find one!)
I say, “Thank you for reminding me!” when a patient asks a second time for that cup of ice water because man, I genuinely meant to get it but I just got sidetracked.
(I usually say, “It’s always ok to remind me!”)
When I call down to distribution to ask them to send up an item I need, I always say, “Thank you so much! I appreciate you.” because my goodness, that saves me a long walk to retrieve it myself.
I REALLY say thank you when the plumbers come to fix a clogged toilet in a patient room. Ha.
One could argue that all of these examples are just someone doing their job. But I see no harm (and plenty of value) in expressing appreciation for that. 😉
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I know people vary in what encourages and motivates them, but my goodness, I personally love being in an environment filled with appreciation.
When my patients say thank you to me (even though I am just doing my job), it makes me even more motivated to do a good job; the appreciation is so rewarding. It’s the exact opposite of a vicious cycle.
Maybe you are already the kind of person who sprinkles gratitude into the world wherever you go. If so, carry on!
If you aren’t…well, I don’t want to tell you what to do (I’m not the bossy sort), but I’m gonna suggest giving it a try. 🙂 It’s quick, it’s easy, it costs you nothing more than a few seconds, and it’ll improve basically every environment you are in.
Most of us come into contact with dozens of people each week, which means there are many chances to spread warm appreciation as we move through the world. What a lovely opportunity we all have!
I know this is not going to solve the heartbreaking problems going on in the world right now, but it will bring a bit of sunshine into someone else’s day. And that is not nothing. 🙂
I’m sure all of us have at least one experience of being on the receiving end of gratitude, and I’d love to hear how it affected you. Soo…..
Tell me about a time someone encouraged you by saying, “Thank you!”
P.S. Some people bring the “no need to say thank you when it’s your job” attitude into marriage and parenting, and I think that’s crazy work too. It’s not that hard to say thank you, and odds are very good that it will improve relationships!
P.P.S. Most people in the world are annoyed when they encounter an entitled attitude, which is sort of the opposite of a grateful attitude. So, this is my little entitlement resistance: spreading gratitude instead.
Source: www.thefrugalgirl.com…