Do I like how this is making me feel?

I jotted this question down in a post draft a while back, and I have no notes about where I heard this question. I’m guessing it was on a podcast?

But…I thought it would be a helpful question to throw out there at this time of year, when we traditionally think about what we want the upcoming year to look like. 

I like questions such as this one because they encourage individualized thinking. 

Resolutions inspired by thoughts such as, “Everyone else is doing this.” or, “I really ought to do this thing/not do this thing.” are obviously not individualized. 

But, “Do I like how this is making me feel?” is so personal.

Do I like how this food makes me feel?

Do I like how this activity level makes me feel?

Do I like how these spending habits make me feel? 

Do I like how this level of stuff-ownership makes me feel? 

Do I like how I feel when I spend my time in this way? 

Do I like how I feel when I spend my money this way?

Do I like how I feel consuming this type of media? 

If the answer is yes, then I think it’s fine to carry on as is. 

And if the answer is no, perhaps there’s a resolution there; a call to switch things up because that habit isn’t serving you.

I also like the rather positive spin this puts on things; the resolution is there to make your life serve you a little better. 

It’s kinda like my no-bed-rotting experiment I did recently. I realized I didn’t really like the way it felt to scroll on my phone before work; it serves me better to not do that! 

It’s a kinder, gentler question 

You know how sometimes we feel a tremendous amount of pressure to Do All The Things, starting on January 1st?

This question could help to mellow that out a little.

Do you like how you feel when you put 10 new resolutions on your plate? No? Ok, then you could dispense with most of those and go with one or two.

I also think it’s a gentle way to think about resolutions. Instead of motivating yourself with shame or blame, you focus on what will make you feel better. 

For example, instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t eat sweet rolls for breakfast.”, I can think, “I like the way I feel when I have some protein and vegetables at breakfast, so I’m going to prioritize those.” 

Instead of thinking, “Lying in bed scrolling on my phone is a bad habit.”, I instead think, “My mornings go better when I roll right out of bed, and I like the way that feels.” 

Instead of thinking, “It’s bad to be sedentary, so I should go to the gym.”, I could instead think, “My body and my brain feel better when I exercise, and I like that, so I’m going to get myself to the gym.” 

I’m not punishing myself; I’m taking care of myself. 

I know everyone finds motivation in their own unique way, but for me, this positive method hits the spot perfectly. 🙂 

If you give this a try, I’d love to hear how it goes! 

P.S. To state the obvious: this question only works if you look at the big picture. In the moment, we like how it feels to eat junk food, lie in bed, buy a bunch of stuff, and so on. But if you zoom out and then ask, “Do I like, in general, how this makes me feel?”, you can get some more sensible answers.